Away

Friends,

i’ve been absent from the blog.  for the first time in my life i feel like writer’s block is controlling me.  this isn’t what i planned.  this blog was supposed to be an escape for me, a place for me to erase inhibitions and lose the fear i’ve had in my “real” life for years.  fear of non-silence, fear of truth, fear of what others will think about my life.

it’s crippling, but i am moving in many ways, just not in my writing life.  it’s fine, because at least i am moving and i am grateful for that.  truth be told, my marriage is still hangin on but by a silly string.  we had an amazing january, and reconnected on the new year.  this was important in many ways as it rejuvenated my willingness to try.

i feel stronger and more alive than i have in years and i am proud of who i am becoming.  i wish i didn’t feel so alone in my own house majority of the time i am there, but my son continues to keep my heart pumping with energy and love and life.  and, i am taking care of myself.  i am loving myself, and it feels great.

at least i know that i don’t want my marriage to end, but i am working towards being okay if it does end.  not much more i could ask for than that…

thank you for hanging on and being patient with me.  it’s not much, but every bit of feedback i get from this blog matters to me.  so thank you, to all of you, for every comment.

 

🙂

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About Ellie

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. ~Saul Bellow To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. ~Margaret Fairless Barber, The Roadmender View all posts by Ellie

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