i’ve been absent from the blog.  for the first time in my life i feel like writer’s block is controlling me.  this isn’t what i planned.  this blog was supposed to be an escape for me, a place for me to erase inhibitions and lose the fear i’ve had in my “real” life for years.  fear of non-silence, fear of truth, fear of what others will think about my life.

it’s crippling, but i am moving in many ways, just not in my writing life.  it’s fine, because at least i am moving and i am grateful for that.  truth be told, my marriage is still hangin on but by a silly string.  we had an amazing january, and reconnected on the new year.  this was important in many ways as it rejuvenated my willingness to try.

i feel stronger and more alive than i have in years and i am proud of who i am becoming.  i wish i didn’t feel so alone in my own house majority of the time i am there, but my son continues to keep my heart pumping with energy and love and life.  and, i am taking care of myself.  i am loving myself, and it feels great.

at least i know that i don’t want my marriage to end, but i am working towards being okay if it does end.  not much more i could ask for than that…

thank you for hanging on and being patient with me.  it’s not much, but every bit of feedback i get from this blog matters to me.  so thank you, to all of you, for every comment.




About Ellie

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. ~Saul Bellow To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. ~Margaret Fairless Barber, The Roadmender View all posts by Ellie

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